2017-04-15 by Object of Contempt
Codependency – what is it?
It is a heart wound. It is the rational fear that you will not be loved enough. That fear did not come from nowhere, it is supported by experience. It happened. At crucial times, the love you needed as much as air to breathe was lacking, and its absence caused damage – if nothing else, it hatched this terrible anxiety that short-circuits even the smartest minds.
There are critical times for learning certain skills. Feral children who miss the language window, for instance, will never use words. Similarly, a certain amount (and quality!) of love is vital at certain stages for certain things, such as self-soothing (the reason toddlers need to carry a blanket or a teddy bear), motor skills, brain development, self-confidence, resilience, strength… etc.
Codependent people are often labeled ‘needy’ and ‘clingy’.
Well, they’re starving.
To use an inelegant simile, would you be…
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