Thinking and Driving

4

2017-05-20 by Object of Contempt

Friends don’t let friends drive “thunk”!

Yes, I was a “thunk driver”. I was thinking to the point of distraction while driving. Distracted driving is quite dangerous, and not so hard to avoid for most people. They can put their distracting items in the glove box or the trunk. For those who are dealing with PTSD, severe depression, even A.D.D., distractions are not so easily dodged. An innocuous trigger can become a distraction, and a distraction can become a mild dissociative episode in a heartbeat. I want to write this post to remind those who struggle with PTSD to drive carefully and safely.

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, lawyer, pastor, counsellor, elder, psychologist, psychiatrist, or genius. I’m not even free of my abuser yet. I’m not always wrong, and I’m not always right. I’m just sharing my opinions. I sincerely hope they are helpful.

I was lucky. I was distracted, but instead of a traffic accident, I managed to pull myself back to reality and ended up with a few thoughts for blog posts. Dealing with the complete isolation and being surrounded by flying monkeys has shut me down to the point where I rarely write, and get lots of emotional flashbacks. I’m still living with my covertly abusive wife, and the fridgidity of daily life is inescapable. This isn’t new news to those who follow this blog. The point in saying this is just to set the stage for my thoughts, and show how easily this progresses in my mind.

So… there I was on a busy street in the middle of town. A love song came on the radio and I began to feel angry about being deprived of love by my parents and my wife. My mind progressed as usual to how disingenuously they pretended to love and string me along. That makes me truly angry beyond words.

When I recovered my grasp on the here and now I was sitting in a parking lot. I felt weary and strained in my spirit, craving peace and real love. I’d been punched in the gut… again. And, my abusers didn’t have to lift a finger. In their eyes a collision would’ve counted for poetic justice.

Whatever motivates you to keep your mind on the road… avoiding injury, expense, or depriving your abuser of an opportunity to sneer at you… please join me. Take the time to focus your mind, and refocus, when you drive.

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4 thoughts on “Thinking and Driving

  1. Aura Gael says:

    Whew! Glad you’re safe. I get lost in thought a lot behind the wheel. One thing I do though is think out loud. So the sound of my voice keeps me aware and ‘awake’ so to speak. (I don’t mean awake in the literal sense though, I’ve never (knock wood) have fallen asleep behind the wheel.)

    I suppose alert is more accurate. This may also not work for everyone either nor will everyone feel comfortable with it. But now a days you don’t look so nuts given cell phones. To other people it just looks like you’re talking on a speaker phone.

    Anyway, I hope you are able to get out of that horror of a marriage someday soon.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Aura,

      Nice to hear from you. 🙂

      I don’t think thinking aloud would do it for me. The thing I need to do is focus my thoughts on topics that are outside myself. I frequently listen to talk on the radio for that purpose. It doesn’t matter if I like or agree with what they say, as long as it isn’t about something that will trigger me. Music triggers me much more easily. Silence is even worse. It’s like an invitation for the automatic “tapes” to run in my head.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks for posting comments on my blog today. Now that I am following blogs again, I was trying to remember your blog’s name so I could refollow you, but.. duh…. couldn’t think of it.

    Driving thunk…. good one. Yep, guilty..

    Liked by 1 person

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