More from My Daughter – Trust and Disbelief

3

2017-07-21 by Object of Contempt

The poem below, more than the previous one, displays the effects of emotional abuse in a home. My daughter (the author) is a young adult, and has heard me explain some of the things that happened in my childhood. She is also aware of what is going on in our own home, because of my descriptions. Our own home… It’s not fair to her to have to deal with these problems, or my crushed spirit. Even if I were capable of keeping this all boxed up and hidden, keeping secrets can be just another way of protecting lies. I really don’t know what I should have said or done. All I know is that I want it to be truthful, and borne out of goodwill. I wish it all could have been beautiful and a blessing, too.

Her willingness to share her poetry with me shows me a degree of love and trust that I will always cherish.

Stone-Faced

(a broken relationship as seen
from both sides and in-between)

He calls her stone-faced
With her cold, hard stares
No emotion
No tears

He says she holds contempt
Doesn’t say a word
Doesn’t care about his pain
Doesn’t make him heard

Yet it’s so hard for me to see
Why someone wouldn’t feel
Especially when their presence
To me has always been so real

She held my tiny hand
Rocked me when I cried
Sang me to sleep
Forgave me when I lied

And now he calls her stone-faced.
It’s too painful to believe
When he says she doesn’t love
Because love is what we need

She’s far from perfect
We all are, but who cares?
Then when he calls her stone-faced
I’m unsure and scared

I know he isn’t lying
But I think I’m in denial
He describes her distant demeanor
And I cover my ears like a child

I can’t ignore what’s going on
But after all, it’s not my place
To meddle in what will cause me trouble
To call my mom stone-faced

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3 thoughts on “More from My Daughter – Trust and Disbelief

  1. It is wonderful that your daughter trusts you enough to share this poem with you. It is wonderful that you are honest enough to post her poem here.

    And it is also deeply painful. What a heartbreaking poem. I think of how it hurt me when my parents’ marriage ended, when each parent talked to me in private about the other one, telling me things I did not want to hear.

    God bless.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Ame says:

    *tears*

    it’s h.e.a.r.t…b.r.e.a.k.i.n.g when we have to watch our children deal with the pain between their parents. c.r.u.s.h.i.n.g.

    i empathize. i understand. and it still continues . . . even three years after his death 😦 .

    i have forced my daughters to face the truth, as much as is appropriate to share. one of my daughters wanted to know what he did; i eventually told her. her personality needed to know. my other daughter refuses to know the details but knows that it was bad. they have both said i did all i could, that he was what he was. it still breaks my heart to see their broken hearts, their wounds, their scars.

    however, i will say that they have both come to a place where they can see God restoring some of what the locusts have eaten. they both have empathy and compassion and understanding that they know their peers can’t even comprehend.

    i have to believe that God is bigger than all of this … that He can use their pain for His glory and His honor and their good, as He has promised.

    i grew up in an abusive home with lies. i was married to their dad for 20 years, a marriage fraught with lies that he layered all over the place. and i have refused to do so anymore. we’re all about the truth, now – good, bad, and ugly. and … over time … very slowly … it’s healing our hearts and souls.

    may the same be true for your daughter and children (i don’t remember if you have any others).

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Cynthia says:

    My young adult daughter has also been deeply affected by the emotional abuse and addiction that ravaged our marriage. Thankfully, healing has been coming to all of our immediate family and the different relationships within, including her.
    As with the first comment above, my first thought was how awesome it is that your daughter trusts you with her own wounded heart. Your love for each other is palpable. It is brave of both of you to share her poetry and expose the wounds to the fresh air. Blessings.

    Liked by 1 person

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